Do kids see us as mean moms because we put our foot down? YES!
I have learned that the more you want to be a cool as cucumber, not raising voice, patient kind of mom you end up on a different path = to MEAN MOM!
Kids consider you mean when you lose your cool and ground their ass! Or slap them across the head with a shoe, but hey they drive us to that insanity! Then they look at us like we’re the devil! It sucks to be the bad cop, but it’s either that or you’ll end up with a bunch of assholes for kids!
So when my son gets yelled at by me or punished or smacked, he looks at me and says, “Your mean, you’re the worst, it’s not fair, I hate you”, blah blah blah, I look at him and say: “It’s OK honey it’s better that I am the mean mom that actually gives a shit to punish you only because I care and want you to make the best choices in life, a mom who doesn’t care, wouldn’t tell you crap and you will be a mess growing up”.
Of course he’s still mad at me, but all this information eventually sinks in! Sure it hurts when you have to step out and punish them and take away the things they like and enjoy, it does hurt me, but if I don’t do it now, it’ll hurt me and him more later on. Kids are jerks! They will try to step all over you and attack your weaknesses, so if we as mothers don’t put on a tough show, they will walk all over us with their cute little shoes!
We can still be kind, loving and comforting to our kids, but hard bad bitches when needed to! Sometimes we get that feeling of “oh what if they end up hating us for giving them consequences”, or “let me be the cool parent, so I have them on my good side”, WAIT! You actually could and you can’t! You can be firm and tough, but also be open and honest with them in order to get along good with your children. It does not have to be all grumpy and mean.
There is a saying that it is 100% true: “Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems!” Mines are small right now, teens are a whole different story, that’ll be an entire series of blogs! I’ll tell you when I get there, enjoy the ride!
Parenting is tough, really tough! I would say the hardest job in the world is parenting! And no one shows you how to do it, your on your own! No instruction manual here!
Always follow your heart and your instincts with your kids, at the end of the day when they come up to you and give you and hug and a kiss, you know you are doing something right!